Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

These are the resolutions I think should be on your list this year.

(10) Write your resolution on paper so your dog eats it.

(9) Resolve not to eat sugar while eating a donut.

(8) “I can start a new resolution any day of the year” says that friend. 

(7) Resolve to learn French on Duolingo so you can go to France and get told to “just speak English”. 

(6) Resolve to quit your job and move to Tuscany. Just kidding, that’s a movie with Diane Lane and you are not Diane Lane. 

(5) Resolve to come up with a resolution next year. 

(4) Overthink your resolution and eat ice cream out of spite. 

(3) Two part resolution: Part one is for this year.  Part two is for next year…because you forgot about Part one.

(2) Add part three to your resolution…wait, what was the resolution again? 

(1) Go to the gym…starting tomorrow!

What's YOUR resolution for 2025?